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    11 July

    又~~~回来了~~~~

            昨天(当然现在还是凌晨哈哈)我又回来了 ,记不清这些年来爸是弟10几次去接送我 了 。。。我想了想,每次回来总是习惯性的 叫爸接,一算真的几乎是每次。。。这学上的 ,上了5年,未来难道还要上3年?
     
     
              我老了 。。折磨的已经很麻木了,没男的,无所谓,我想了很久我究竟是不是L,精神上我还是离不开女的,晚上看了 夏河的校内,那么帅的GAY,又很有钱。人说同志都是天生的 ,那份爱注定要给一个性别的,只不过人们约定俗成给异性。我不行,我懂得人世间的道理还很少,很多事我还想不明白,我连自己都想不明白,又怎么能想明白“爱”呢,我要是爱上谁,会是心里默默的用力的爱,不是炫耀,自我牺牲真的是双鱼的标志,心里有多么在乎,也是自己承受,别人永远不会知道的隐忍。。。。哈。。。高深的 我都参不透,天性使然~
     
     
              人活着就要追求点什么?
              我的愿望更集体一点,希望一起幸福,不止是我个人奋斗目标的实现。孤立的一个人?再怎么样有个P....用.....
              我 觉得现在的日子就很不错,平静的过着,时不时逛逛看看自己能出手掏金钱的东西,虽然可能人们会有点彷徨,毕竟还没有看到方向,不过这种情况是比较悠闲的,谁的人生已经定性了 还活的有奔头呢?
     
     
              更爱吃了 ,更,不想为了 减肥折磨自己越来越彪悍了;更爱买牌子了,我的人生再穷也一定要有型,生气越买对搭配越有感觉,哪怕从来不研究服装杂志;更不爱学习了,绝对是亲身体会,死啃书绝对不如多接触人学东西实用,况且我的 头脑学什么东西懂好快,唉,疯了 ,我怎么一看书就那么有效率....;
     
                还有很多愿望:更平静起来(现在已经慢慢很好了,不会再无病呻吟的 找茬忧郁了 ,既然我选择了生,就要负责任的活下去);更多户外运动一些,这是我很大的 毛病,太宅了,没事多见见人,多动动还对身体好呢
     
     
                  下午起床了去找老蒋喝酒去,恩,不知道是怎样的状态,是灌醉型还是微醺型,喝HI了就不知道了 ,我 从来没醉过,不省人事是什么样?哈
                   做个面膜睡8,这么个折磨自己的 人....
     

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